Politics. The Age of Assholism. 11-8-2020

Many people are walking around on Twitter and Sunday morning talking-head shows, proclaiming that the reason why the race was so close, and that 67 million Americans voted for a known liar, alleged con-artist and rapist, and person largely responsible for the deaths of more than a quarter of a million Americans was due to racism.


Racism most certainly exists in this country, and the GOP seems to be under the impression that if they pull all the dirty tricks possible on Black people in Southern States, it generally results in voter suppression of Democrats, and victory for Republicans, so there is some truth in that.

However, there is another contributing factor to why people voted for Donald J. Trump.

That reason is Assholism.

Yes, its a made up word to describe a very real and distinctly American concept, although it does make its appearance in lots of other countries.

I say its distinctly American because our Founding Fathers pretty much stole an entire country from Indigenous people, kidnapped a bunch of Africans, dumped half of them to drown or be eaten by sharks in the ocean, and enslaved us, after erasing our names and heritage to build infrastructure, and then pretty much were assholes for centuries to the new folks until a new group came along to pick on, all while claiming to be “The Greatest Nation on Earth.”


You’ve gotten up in the morning, made yourself a lunch from leftovers from a fantastic meal the night before. You put it in a lunch bag. Your name was very clearly on it. You put your lunch in the company fridge and went off to read endless emails that could have been group instant messages and to attend meetings that could have been emails.

You come back at lunchtime, ready, taste already in your mouth for the delicious thing you prepared.

Its gone.

Someone has Columbus-ed your lunch.


Some asshole stole your lunch.

You’re in the car on the drive home, and you usually bump back two car lengths heading into where the lanes merge from two into one and you watch as your fellow drivers pull up two inches behind everyone else’s bumpers and solidly NOT LOOK at the people trapped on the shoulder, trying to get in.

Those assholes don’t know how to zipper merge.

You are waiting in line at a fast food place to get your coffee and a sandwich. You usually order the same thing, every time you go to this place because the thing you order is delicious. You are standing behind a person you’ve seen before and NOBODY wants to get in line behind them because THEY ALWAYS TAKE 20 MINUTES AND THEY ALWAYS WIND UP ORDERING THE SAME FUCKING THING ANYWAY.


They are everywhere.

They enjoy watching people who try to do the right thing lose their shit.

They are there to stick their dirty thumb in your very clean eye-socket, because they know, usually, you are usually too polite to smack the fuck out of them like that little girl in the meme who watched her friend smugly lean over and blow out the birthday candle on a cake that was not hers and then dared you to do something about it.

That little girl provided a beat-down of epic proportions to that smug little candle blower, and many of us cheered.

It was terrible, but yes, I cheered too, because you know that’s what we all would like to do when confronted by assholism, but most of us were raised to turn the other cheek, rise above it, “when they go low, we go high.”

When they go low, maybe we need to start offering a kick in the nuts?

We now have confirmation that we have about 67 million assholes on the loose here in the United States.

They will not wear a mask.

They will strap an AR-15 to their backs to got to fucking Panera to order a sandwich because they can.

They will shoot a Black person and claim they “feared for their lives,” even from behind a badge while wearing full body armor, a taser, a nightstick, and having all the training in the world on how to de-escalate conflict.

They will sit at their desk, and watch you come in 10 minutes late and instant message your boss.

Sure, I know we are all supposed to work together, to re-unite and unify, but here’s a question – how exactly do we go about doing that. when there are 67 million people in this country who are just waiting, like Lucy from Charlie Brown, to snatch the fucking football away and watch us fall and bust our collective asses?

Maybe we need to rethink the whole unity thing and start embracing the “either you join us, or get the fuck out of the way, because I’m going here and I will step through you, leaving a bloody hole to do it. Move.” mentality, because, you know, sometimes, just being that motherfucker is what you need to do to get shit done.

About gojohnego

Avid foodie and kitchen tinkerer, artist, news junky and political wonk, musician, blogger, naturist, dog-daddy, and owner of a kinky play-space. ...and did I mention I'm single ;)
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