Politics. Spock vs. The Weepin’ Cheeto. Week 1.

Here in the US we are experiencing Political difficulties. Please stand by…

Here’s the summary.

A Canadian who became a naturalized citizen and then somehow snuck past the fundamental purists, made his way to the US Senate. His name is Ted Cruz. Not everyone can be beautiful . It would be too hard to get anything done if everyone were beautiful. This man has a face that matches his personality – self aggrandizing, smarmy, and simpering. He as spokesperson for the Ultra Right Wing of the Republican party, also know as the TEA party (Taxed Enough Already), decided to incite roughly 30 of his fellow crazy-people to obstruct the government. This would be the same group that has Weepin’ Cheeto (John Boehner) much more weepy than usual. They have scared him into believing that he will lose his position as Speaker of the House if he decides to do his job as speaker of the House and make sure the US Government has a proper budget, is properly funded, and can cut checks to pay for the expensive shit we’ve already bought on credit. Its stuff we can’t return, like benefits for Veterans, and staff for National Parks and museums, and things of that nature.

So the Weepin’ Cheeto blubs along and appears, at least publicly, to back the truly insane antics of a tiny splinter faction his his party. The problem appears to be, most reasonable people disagree with the crazy people, but his fellow party members fear separation from the gravy train that is the US Congress – Death by Primary – if they break ranks with the crazy people.

On the other side of the aisle sits Harry Reid. Soft spoken but as most of us with common sense know, its never a good idea to fuck with the soft spoken. They don’t need to speak loudly to split your wig down to the white meat. He is handling his business and his party is behind him 100%. The President, also known by some as “Spock”, likely saw this train coming and is even more likely raising an eyebrow and a smirk in The Weepin’ Cheeto’s direction. Reason being – the speaker must choose between his balls and his job. If he continues bowing to Ted Cruz and his band of crazy people, The Cheeto essentially abdicates his power to the craziest of the crazy in his part, thus the proverbial vasectomy. If he stands up to the crazy, Eric Cantor, the man who’s picture appears next to the word “smarmy” in most common dictionaries, is waiting in the wings just ready to pounce on the Cheeto and lick the last of the Orange off him, thus taking his patina, his power, and his position.

So ‘Spock’ doesn’t have to do a thing except sit and arch his eyebrow, as the Weepin’ Cheeto chooses between his balls and his job.

Let’s just say if I had to guess, the Harvard graduate and Constitutional scholar we have in the White House, if he plotted all of this out, is shockingly brilliant and, like Harry Reid, not a man to be fucked with. Scary Dick Cheney and his sidekick, the Shrub, could not find Osama Bin Laden for 8 years. Who found Osama and gave him a cement burial at Sea?

That is some gangsta shit.

Seriously.

Hopefully they’ll get this figured out soon. The tension is setting off a few people, like the lady who rammed the gates at the White House, or the guy a few days later who set himself on fire, or the contractor who took a shotgun to work and ended 12 people on a highly secure military base all right here in DC, and all within a mile or so of that building where 30 nuts and their head-squirrel have decided to shut down the Government, and all allegedly because they don’t like a health care plan that was written by Republicans, with details negotiated by Republicans (who didn’t vote for it even though they got everything they asked for) and apparently isn’t affected by the budget and continues to roll forward and enroll the uninsured.

Some say the TEA Party is racist. I don’t know if they are, and if they are, they, like any good racist will never admit that they are racists. At least not publicly anyway.

Let’s hope after the thrashing they took today on the Sunday Morning talk shows, they wake up in a few hours and realize that in 2014, even if they get to keep their seats, they will most definitely lose their majority. Their loudspeaker (FOX), regardless of how loudly they try to deflect blame and minimize the situation, hasn’t been effective at getting the American People to believe this whole mess is Spock’s fault. That’s the problem with blaming everything on Spock. Eventually people will come to their senses and look for someone else to blame.

And in case you were wondering why I’m still up, I have Apple and Pear pies in the oven for work tomorrow. Its going to be a rough week for everyone, so I’m doing my part to give people a tiny glimmer of joy.

Hopefully everyone else out there will begin to realize that we all need to take a little more time to give each-other a little joy. It might make things a wee bit easier to bear.

Have a good night.

About gojohnego

Avid foodie and kitchen tinkerer, artist, news junky and political wonk, musician, blogger, naturist, dog-daddy, and owner of a kinky play-space. ...and did I mention I'm single ;)
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